write this down:
what you thought was normal was actually your ideal
your real self is not your ideal self
do you know how I know this?
I notice now and I’ve noticed before
I’m always sorry for being late
and I’m late a lot
maybe 70% of the time? Hard to calculate
but still, it’s a lot.
Which is strange considering what I believe about lateness
that it show disrespect
lack of care or concern for another’s time
lack of organization
all things I value
I’m late a lot
and it isn’t because I don’t care about your time
or I don’t respect you
or anything like that
and if you’re late, I won’t hold it against you
at least not very much
or very long.
Also, I am messy.
I mean, I’m capable of great organization
and I love organization
almost as much as I love…
well it’s hard to compare
but I really love it.
and I think maybe I love it a little bit
because it looks like control
i expect that when all your papers are filed properly
you must be super on top of things
i assume that at some point
in the not-too-far-off future
I’ll have it figured out too and then
my desk will be tidy
all. the. time.
And also, good people have tidy homes
which is why I respect her so much because
she never lets the dishes overtake the kitchen
like I do.
All of this really makes me wonder
Who the hell I am?
And what kind of person am I, anyway?
And I’m not upset about all these revelations
because we all know by now
that if anything is really good, it’s this sort of
even if that means kind of
standing in front of the mirror naked for a second
and realizing you weren’t ever really
who you thought you were anyway
and that’s pretty much okay.
there it is.
not terribly tidy
not terribly punctual
what I thought was normal might actually be ideal.
what other revelations could next week hold?